Self-Esteem – A Core Limiting Belief
What is Self-Esteem and is it really a ‘belief’?
YES! Your self-esteem is what you believe (and feel) about yourself, and is just a belief system.
Many people find this difficult to believe and prefer to think of self-esteem as something that they are ‘born’ with and that cannot be changed. This is not true and a little self reflection will probably allow you to think of times when you felt ‘great’ and ‘full of confidence’, for example, if you are married, wasn’t your wedding day a major highlight in your life? If you drive a car, wasn’t finally passing your test just the best thing that ‘ever happened’?
If you think about self-esteem in these terms, then you will probably realise that the way you feel and have felt about yourself over your life has probably changed frequently, from times when it was very low to other times when you felt ‘on top of the world’.
Thrive Consultants and Coaches believe that your self-esteem is actually around TWO WEEKS old at any point in time.
The Thrive Programme teaches you tools and techniques that can have a really dramatic effect on the way that you think and feel about yourself so that you can develop a high self-esteem for a greater period of time.
What Determines Self-Esteem?
People tend to believe that the events that happen to them drive their self-esteem, but we believe that there is a subtle ‘proviso’ to this assertion, and that the way that we ‘think and process’ the events that happen to us influences how we feel about ourselves arther than the events themselves.
This is the idea of an ‘internal locus of control‘.
One of the key activities that we encourage you to do when following the Thrive Programme is to spend a certain amount of time each day thinking about (and ‘processing’) the positive experiences that you have had over the lest few days, or indeed in the last few hours.
Far too many people seem to spend a major proportion of their time (and lives) focusing all of their ‘thinking time’ to worrying about things that have gone ‘wrong’ or are ‘negative’.
This serves very little purpose apart from wasting a lot of time creating negative emotional responses from un-helpful thinking!
Low versus High Self-Esteem
- I feel like a bit of a failure
- I focus on my mistakes
- I am a perfectionist
- I feel uncomfortable when people compliment me
- Praising yourself in just wrong
- I feel confident in my abilities
- I dedicate time to thinking about what I’ve done well
- My best is good enough, even if it’s not perfect
- I appreciate positive comments from people
- It’s good to recognise your successes